I got to the room, did a scan of the people that had gotten there before me and thought oh Lord this is certainly not going to work out. It’s like all of a sudden it clicked that I was about to meet with some random group of people at group therapy and dive in to some of my biggest fears. Not ok.
Against my better judgment I decided to stay. This was my first week, but everyone else’s second week as I missed the first one due to prior commitments. I was told it would not be a big deal as it was more introductory stuff the first time. I just had to catch up on the reading and fill out paper. I said a total of maybe 2 words. Shifted back and forth about a billion times, tried to regulate my breathing while soaking everything in that was going on around me.
After some mindfulness exercises and participation from about everyone except myself, I started to kind of realize that these people weren’t so bad, and maybe I’ll get something out of this. Maybe. Maybe I already did take away a few things but I just haven’t let myself fully admit that this quite possibly may not be so bad.