I whole heartedly believe in the importance of transparency. After losing my father to a very serious mental illness, I more so than ever want to make sure I’m advocating for those that do not feel as though that they have a voice.
One of the biggest things that has helped me in this season of heartache, grief, and rebuilding is writing. Talking about exactly how I feel and not surpressing the emotions. It’s important to feel them and process them, but it is also even more important to not let them define you. It has been 3 months since I lost my father to suicide and everyday has been a battle. There are days when I feel like I cannot even get out of bed because I’m weighed down by the grief and guilt. I will be the first one to tell you that I did not handle things well at all in the beginning. I have slowly been making changes to start taking control of these feelings and not let them control my life. I’ve been getting back to church on a regular basis, started working out with my trainer more regularly, decide to start taking self defense classes, see a therapist to talk through a lot of this, doing daily devotional, being very intentional with my time, and seeking out things that are positive. I listen to this episode of a podcast I really like recently and it really hit home to me. If you have some time, I would highly recommend listening to it!! One of the quotes from the author that is featured in the podcast is ….”These mountains that you are carrying, you were only meant to climb”. Man, how true is this?! Give yourself a break sometimes, and thank God for grace. I am so guilty of not leaving on our Heavenly Father 100% of the time, but I’m realizing more and more that when I do, I’m not alone in this walk. You are not alone either. You are loved, valued, important, and there was a reason God designed you and I in such a beautiful way. Your voice is meant to be heard, and your struggles, although they are intense right now, are not forever. If you are feeling hopeless or alone, please please reach out to someone. People care about you more than you could know.