Finding a new normal…

To say things have been hard lately is an understatement. I also am feeling extremely blessed in this season of life. It’s bittersweet. As I grieve the loss of my father, I’m trying to enjoy all of my daughter’s firsts. Dealing with anxiety is tough, especially when you have a little one. I’m also so thankful for the amazing support system I have. Going forward I will still be sharing my grieving process but I will also be sharing some of the absolutely amazing things going on. I have realized talking about my father has really helped me to process things. When other’s would lose someone close to them I would rarely bring up their lost one because I was unsure what to say or how they would react, but I have realized more and more that talking about them keeps them alive in a sense. Every year for Christmas I would decorate a stocking for my father and fill it with goodies. This would have been the first year that it would have said grandpa on his stalking rather then Dad. I’m going to make him one this year and hope to carry that tradition on with my daughter. Losing loved ones is hard. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to feel the emotions. It does not get easier per say, but you learn how to handle it better. I want to focus on the positives. I know that it won’t always be rainbows and butterflies but I have so much to be thankful for. I also wouldn’t be the person I am today without my father. So thank you, Dad. I’m going to make sure I keep your spirit alive as long as I live. 

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