Ever since I can remember my father would say “when I die, I want my ashes spread at the top of Wayah Bald”, so that is what I did. We had a small private gathering with family at the top of Wayah Bald. My cousin read some lovely things about my father and shared memories as well. I held the box with his ashes the whole time as we stood there in a circle, praying, remembering, mourning. It was exactly where he wanted to be and I knew while standing up there that every time I go back to that place I will feel like my father is right there with me.
I returned some of his badges and security stuff to his former employer. Met with the funeral home a few times to go over logistics, the medical examiner, the DMV, and so on and so on. I never realized how much you have to do after someone passes away. It’s overwhelming. Especially when you are in shock and feel frozen in time, but you have to keep moving forward.
My family and I finished cleaning out his place, took the things we wanted to remember him by, and donated the rest. I keep checking his phone thinking that if the battery is still alive somehow he is too. I took a brochure I found on his table for the facility he was seeing a doctor at, a hat he has worn since I was a child, his coaster, camera and equipment, laptop, his bible, and the small ziplock bag of everything he had on his person when they found him dead. For some reason I feel like if I keep all of it just like it was it means he’s not gone. I so badly want to see him. I’m desperate to tell him how much I care and how loved he is.
I can’t wait to get back to Wayah Bald…