One day they will meet…

Motherhood was really hard for me in the beginning. I dealt with severe anxiety and battled with PPD as well. I have great empathy for my father because PPD gave me a glimpse into his life. It was horrible. I just wish I had been more open about it to people other than my family. I know so many women struggle with it and I felt ashamed and felt like I was failing as a mother. It was such a dark time and I thank God for the amazing support system I have. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. I could not imagine going through that for an extremely prolonged period of time. It was hell. I have always struggled with anxiety but this was like anxiety on steroids times a billion. It breaks my heart knowing that my father was tortured like this. I eventually got much better and feel like a completely different human being. I thank God every day for my daughter. She has been an enormous blessing to our family and I can’t imagine my life without her. 
We had put off my daughters baptism until my father could make it up to Wisconsin to attend. The plan was that he would come some time in the fall so he could be there for the baptism and get as many baby snuggles as possible before he would have to head back. He loved her so so much. We would Skype at least once a week and they had the sweetest relationship. He was the best Dad a girl could ask for growing up. I imagine this would have been the same joy in his face meeting Eva. He would have been the best grandpa in the world…

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